Northern Ireland Gaming
game reviews and News01 Jun 2009 12:04 pm

Hey everyone, from now on I’ll be writing stuff under the stage name  name Fury Vegas! Hopefully you’ll agree somewhat with what I say!(You can guess who this is hehe)

Now recently I completed Bioshock (yeah I know, take my time why don’t I?). Now it’s a great game, I mean, how games can you fire lightning bolts out of your hands? (InFamous, D&D games)

…..OK well how many games force you to choose between the life and death of a little girl? (The Sims?)

…..Nah doesn’t count. The Sims is a over-glorified fishbowl, Bioshock is a gritty life or death, impulse shooting fishbowl experience. Since Dermot has already written a review about it, I’m not going into details. However I will talk about SPOILERS!!! So only read on if you do not want to read the good or any ending!!!

I guess what really got me was Andrew Ryan’s death at the hands of you, however the player is not in control, nicely done. Adding to the puppet theme that was recently sprawled all over your face by Mr. Ryan basically telling you, you were controlled the whole time by Atlas..

Even this is not what I’m trying to get at. No in fact, it is the ending that disappointed me. I choose to save the little sisters, all of them! Yes I’m an angel now, well done.  So I go to fight Fontaine, kill him. Game done.  It’s over too quickly, there is little to no build up in suspense. No reasoning why Fontaine looks like a deformed gingerbread man and why despite have no clothes on, has no gentalia? So I guess I am left to assume all this? OK… he got put in an oven for a few hours left to simmer with a few plasmids then drenched in EVE marinade.  And he never had any balls to begin with!…Oh please….

Sorry Bioshock, but you let me down! Seriously! For being such an epic game, like making me dress as a Big Daddy and all then to come out with a wishy washy ending? Sickening!  Playing on Normal feels like Easy (see Tristan’s last post), Fontaine isn’t remotely difficult, sure he spits fire and throws ice, but if I have all 9 Medikits, I survive without a scratch.

So what happens you ask? You drain all the adam from Fontaine and can’t even use it! it’s like over 1000 ADAM, I wouldn’t mind that for my next playthough on hard. This monstrous gingerbread man knocks you aside and looks over you threatening that you will never bake in the same way again.
*Disney enters*
And, look, the sweet little sisters have come to your aid and despite this pastry with pex destroying you, he is overcome by the power of love from the little sisters who violently stab him to death.  Rewind please! I’m sorry but this isn’t a perfect story, at least let one of them die…. sadly I didn’t feel joy in this moment, just annoyance; why couldn’t I stab that b****** to death?  I have so many wrench plasmids I could’ve beaten Fontaine into a fountain….OF BLOOD! Even that aside, the ending FMV isn’t rewarding either.
I have just been given the power to shoot lightning bolts from my hands! Why do I care about what happens to me in a few decades time?  Wonderful hand imagry though, just a bit too much, kinda got tierd like a few seconds in.
I would’ve liked something like a first person view of yourself old in a hospital bed, almost dieing; a doctor saying to a woman standing at your bedside “He’s not going to survive much longer, maybe it would be better to end his suffering now.” She nods and turns to you, she’s crying, so are the other women in the room. The screen shakes as the IV needle is taken out, darkness crawls at your vision as you try to keep alive. One of the women leans over and kisses your forehead and whispers “Thank you” and then your head rolls back as your hear the waves of the sea and the distinct 50’s tones of “Beyond the Sea” by Bobby Darin.  That would’ve been more immersive and it would get to people.
Hands don’t interest people at all.
Well anyways that’s my only complaint about Bioshock, I love feeling invincible, love Telekenesis and the gripping storyline that keeps you wanting more and more. And now even more! Redesign the end of Bioshock please!!!
…Now to play the bad ending… heheh

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